All For the Sake of Cheeseburgers
by BugExterminator
Summary: Its a rugratskimpossablestargate....slash whatever else is to come crossover...the world is being attacked by an army of evil cows
1. Mcdonalds

When I see them standing tall over the buildings and over everything I realize what an impact they have made in our country. What they stand for.......there's an unnusual peace of stomach when I see them there.  
  
As I come closer theres something about them that clearly states what America is all about, and its good to know that after a long hard  
  
day at work they're still standing there strong, and unharmed. They're ordinary, and lead to an ordinary place where we can come and realax and escape from our unoridnary lives. Escaping the disaster and hectic and caotic routines of our daily lives....they are the golden arches.  
  
"Sir,"   
  
"Yes?" Jack asks as he comes back to reality.  
  
"Would you like some fries with that?"   
  
"Of course who comes to mcdonalds without getting fries???" He asks.  
  
She smiles and sets four orders of fries on his two trays.  
  
"Thank you." He says as he takes them.  
  
"You're welcome." She responds.   
  
Casually he takes the trays back to where he and the rest of his team are sitting.  
  
"You get everything?" Sam asks as they search the trays for their food.  
  
"Hey where's the ketchup?" Daniel asks.  
  
THE END  
  
So its not the greatest humor...but I was riding in the car past mcdonalds and I thouught of it and couldnt get it out of my head. 


	2. The Motor Car

ch2  
  
Authors Note: I never dreamed it would turn into a story like this but what can I say when I'm bored my mind goes nuts and so comes well you'll see.

Jack, Daniel, Sam, and Teal'c sat enjoying their Mcdonalds meals they had bought; and Jack being Jack had bought a happy meal because he had wanted the toy.   
  
Which was what he was playing with instead of eating, and making Sam ramble on like a mother to a child whose concerned that her son wont eat the food because he's to busy playing with the toy.  
  
"Sir." Sam was saying as the three of them watched Jack with ammusment, and ate there own food.  
  
"Yes Carter." He said not paying attention to her really but his full attention being on the little motor car he had gotten in his happy meal.  
  
"Sir you should eat your food, before it gets cold and you wont want it anymore." She offered as she herself took out a fry and ate it.  
  
"I will Carter. You're acting like my mother." He said as they watched the race car fly acrros the table and onto the floor.  
  
Jack went to the part of the floor where the toy was and picked it up to begin playing with it again as he had been.  
  
"Perhaps ,O'Neill, Major Carter is acting like your mother because you, " He paused as they watched the car fly off the table again. "You are acting like a five year old."  
  
Teal'c said his voice hinted slite adjitation by the aditude of his friend.  
  
"I am not." He echoed.  
  
"You are too." Daniel argued.  
  
"I am not."   
  
"Are too."  
  
"Am not."  
  
"Are..." Jack began again but was inturupted with the pounding of Sams fist down on the table between the two grown men.  
  
"Allright that's enough! Daniel stop it you're encouraging him." Sam corrected.  
  
"Sorry Sam." Daniel apologized.  
  
"Suck up." Jack stated.  
  
Sam glared at him and then held out her hand.  
  
"What?" He asked almost frightened.  
  
"The toy Sir." She said simply, however quite stirnly.  
  
He pouted and held the toy closer to him as if protecting it from some great evil.  
  
"Its my toy." He said childishly.  
  
"Sir if you dont give me the toy now, and stop acting like a five year old , I'll have Teal'c pick you up and carry you out of here. And then we will all leave." She said.  
  
Teal'c looked at Sam with the raise of an eye brow.  
  
Jack didnt move but looked first at Sam, then Teal'c.  
  
"Come on Jack I havnt even finished eating yet." Daniel whinned.  
  
Jack glared at Daniel.  
  
"Sir. You have untill I count to three." She offered, her hand still stretched out for the toy. "One, Two. Thre..." He growled, and handed her the toy almost pounding it into her hand.  
  
She smiled at him. "Thankyou Sir." She said as she placed the toy in her purse, with him watching carefully her everymove.  
  
"Now eat!" She said pointing towards the food.

To be continued if you want.......


	3. Baal discovers the cheeseburger

Ch3  
  
Authors Note: And so it continues.........  
  
Meanwhile while all this was going on at Mcdonalds Sg-5 had been on a routined mission and captured by the Guould. While being held captive by Baal he had searched through their stuff to if they had anything valuable on them that would help them in their fight against the tauri. While searching through one of the back packs he found something that he had never seen before.  
  
"It looks...." He took off the wrapper and took a bite out of it since it appeared as the same substance as food. "Yummmm." He said aloud as he savoured the bite with pleasure and great satisfaction.  
  
"Bring Sg-5 to me at once!" He commanded taking another bite of the same substance.  
  
"Yes my lord." The gaurd said terrified.  
  
Quickly the two guards went to Sg-5's prison cell and brought them to Baal.   
  
"We wont tell you anything." Colonel Mabrey said firmly as they were forced to make themselves lower than baal.  
  
"I wish to know what this is called." He stated ignoring the Colonel's comment and showing them what he held in his hand.  
  
"You ate my cheeseburger." One of the other members of Sg-5 complained.   
  
"Where do you get these cheeseburgers?" Baal asked taking another bite.  
  
"You expect us to tell you???" The Colonel asked.  
  
"Eventually." Baal said in response. "I have ways if making you talk." He added eating the last bite of the cheeseburger.  
  
To be continued. 


	4. Baal takes all the cheeseburgers and Jac...

Authors Note: Might I request that you refrain from swearing if your going to review please??????? i love your reviews and thanks but i dont like the swearing at all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
"You can bring your fries with you Sir." Sam was saying to Jack as he tried to quickly finish his food. Daniel and Teal'c had taken the treys up to throw out the trash.  
  
"But everyone else got to finish their food here." He complained taking another fry.  
  
Sam stood up from the table, and put her purse around her shoulder.  
  
"Everyone else started eating when they got there food." She corrected.  
  
"I'm not leaving untill I get to finish my food." He said folding his arms.  
  
Teal'c and Daniel walked back over to the table.  
  
"Do you require assistance Major Carter?" Teal'c asked Sam noticing the situation.  
  
"I dont think so Teal'c you and Daniel go get into the car we'll be along in a minute." She said.  
  
"Very well." Teal'c said. He and Daniel walked out of the McDonalds and got into the car they'd come in.  
  
"SIr, if you dont come now I will call Teal'c back in here." She said getting into mother mode again.  
  
He looked at her unsure if she was serious or not.  
  
"I assure you Sir I'm quite serious." She said reading the expression on his face.  
  
"You forget that I give the orders around here." Jack said trying to defend his purose.  
  
"When we're on duty Sir. We're not on duty, and you are also not acting like a Colonel." She said in return.  
  
"Very well." He said giving in he stood up.  
  
"That's a good....." Her voice trailed off as they saw what came through the door.  
  
"WHATS HE DOING.."  
  
"Ah so we meet again O'Neill." Baal said as he and his troop moved into Mcdonalds. There was immediate panic from all staff and Mcdonalds customers.   
  
"I hoped we wouldnt." Jack said.  
  
"Guards take them both....and all the cheeseburgers."   
  
"Do you want some fries with that??????" Jack asked as he and Sam were taken off and beamed aboard the guauld vessel. 


	5. Panic Attack

While all of this was going on Daniel and Teal'c were waiting impatiently for Sam and Jack to come out, and they'd also not noticed Baal's ship over head untill it was too late.  
  
"How could he have gotten here with out the Stargate?" Daniel asked curiously as they raced back to the SGC to get help.  
  
"I do not know Daniel Jackson it is an option we had not considered." Teal'c replied.  
  
"Yeah well I guess we should have."  
  
"Indeed."  
  
Back in Baal's ship Jack and Sam had been thrown in Jacks old prison cell, because Baal had thought that Jack would feel more at home.   
  
"No not this again." Jack said beginning to panic as the recolection of what had taken place began returning in his mind. Sam wasnt sure   
  
what to do or say at first she remembered the pain he had been going through when it happened before, the first time it had been her fault, but this time there wasnt going to be a this time....  
  
"No...no no no!" Jack was saying as he fell to the floor and curled up like a ball against the wall, holding his knees closly to his chin.  
  
Sam walked over to him.   
  
"Sir...." She said her voice normal. trying to keep calm.  
  
He kept say no over and over again, his head burried in his arms. Silently she bent down to his level and put her hand on his arm.  
  
"Jack..." She whispered into his ear. " Jack,"  
  
"Dont let him hurt me . Please dont let him..." He was saying.  
  
"Dont worry Jack. I'm not going to let him touch you." She said.  
  
"Promise?"   
  
"Yes. Yes I promise."  
  
Authors note: okay this is kinda corny but its all i got for now so untill next chapter let me know whatchyou think 


	6. Ron Stoppable

Sam paced back and forth thinking on some way how to get them out.  
  
"Theres gotta be something." She said.  
  
Then something..  
  
"Hey! Hello anyone in there?" She heard a cracking boys voice ask.  
  
Immediatly her and Jack turned our to face the door which was upwards.  
  
"Uh yeah. Hey can you get us outa here?" Jack asked dumbly.  
  
"Yeah why else would I be standing here in this big ship in the middle of enemy territory." The voice said again.  
  
"Yeah..right." Sam said.  
  
They heard some noise and then after a couple minutes a rope was lowered into the cage so that they could be lifted out.  
  
Sam let Jack go first and the she followed him.  
  
"So um thanks for getting us outa there." Sam said thanking their rescuer.  
  
"Yeah anytime. Its all in a days work."  
  
"So who are you anyways?" Jack asked.  
  
"Oh right. The names Stoppable, Ron Stoppable." He said shaking hands. There was a tug on his pants. He looked down.   
  
"Oh and this is my naked mole rat rufes."   
  
Tell me whatchyou think...i have to cut it short.srry 


	7. It became Possable In More Ways Than One

I'm high on mountain dew right now and this story could get weirder lol...im continuing it for fun...nothing serious is involved.  
  
"You've got a naked mole rat?" Jack asked curious noticing for the first time the creature at Rons side.  
  
"Yeah, doesnt everyone?" Ron asked (oh he's still in his cartoon form its very much like Space Jam thing)  
  
"No." Jack said in his isnt that obvious tone.  
  
"Anyways how'd you get here and why are you here." Sam asked as they started down the ships coridor.  
  
"We were summoned by the SGC. Since the world , or a small part of it knows about your secret now we were summoned as the  
  
best possable rescue team." Ron explained.  
  
"Whose we, you keep saying it." Jack noted.  
  
"WE. Is myself, Rufes, and my sidekick Kim Possible." He answered.  
  
"Oh. And why were you the best?" Sam asked curious.  
  
"Because we're cartoons and you really can't kill us, well unless you have a pencil then you can errase us." He said, as they stopped to let some gaurds pass by.  
  
"Oh. So where is your friend....um..what was her name again?" Jack asked.  
  
"Kim?"  
  
"Yeah Kim."  
  
"She's in takin care of the bad guy." Ron said as they entered the main chamber where baal was.  
  
"By herself?" Sam asked surprised, then she saw it. This Kim Possable character taking on Baal one on one. She seemed determined, she seemed.....well too young to be doing this type of thing.  
  
"Should we help her?" Sam asked Ron.  
  
"Does it look like she needs our help?" Jack asked smartly.  
  
"No. But I wasnt asking you I was asking Stoppable." She remarked.  
  
Sam and Jack looked at Ron.  
  
"Uh no..." Ron answered.  
  
"You may have killed me but now all the system lords know about your CHEESEBURGERS. So this fight is not over yet." Baal said his last words.  
  
"Well it is for you." Kim said.  
  
"Wow she's pretty good." Jack commented.  
  
"Yah. I know." Ron said.  
  
Authors Note: I need names of system lords....please..so my wierdnes can continue..if you want....lol thanks for the reviews 


	8. Who's Yu's Talkin bout?

Yu...he sounds great specially if he's mentally unstable....oh i know the cheeseburgers turn into into a giant cheeseburger and take over his mind and...muwahahahahahahahahah but no....you'll have to read and find out what happens next and so i continue wit chapter eight. Oh and I'm going to camp tomorrow and I'll be gone till Thursday night I've been waiting for this for a year since last time, so my writting is gonna have to be put off. Sorry folks. I'll get as much in as I can between tonight and tomorrow before 4pm.

"So Kim Possable right?" Jack asked as they had eventually taken over the ship and killed all of BAALs army, acctually Kim and Ron killed Baals army with the help of Rufes.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"What do you do exactly?" He asked her noticing, first how young she was, and second she seemed really used to the whole saving the world routine.  
  
"SO you're from Earth?" He asked.  
  
"No acctually." Kim replied.  
  
"Then where are you from?" He asked again.  
  
"Anime." Ron answered.  
  
"Where exactly is that. I've never heard of that planet."   
  
"Its where all people like me and Ron live." She answered explaining the place they're from.  
  
"You me cartoon characters?" Sam asked.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"What is a cartoon?" Teal'c asked curious, he had never seen a creature like Ron and Kim before.  
  
"I am, we are. Its something that humans create. We're more of a drawing. One touch from a pencil and we're well as good as dead." Ron answered as General  
  
Hammond entered the briefing room.  
  
"Well folks, Baal is officialy off our hit list thanks to Ron and Kim." He said thanking their new found animated friends.  
  
"But..." Jack asked. " There is a but right?"   
  
"Yes. Unfortunatly Baal let out the word about our cheeseburgers to as many system lords as he could get ahold of. And fortunatly..."  
  
"Theres a fortunatly?" Jack asked.  
  
"Yes. The only one he was able to tell was Yu." He explained.  
  
"You?" Kim asked Jack.  
  
"No Yu."  
  
"You?" Ron asked.  
  
" Noooooooo YU. Y-U. A gua'old system lord. Harmless really. Nice old guy. A little mentally unstable." He explained to Ron and Kim and Rufes.  
  
"Ohhh I see."  
  
"You see what?" She glared at Jack.   
  
"Please continue General Hammond." Teal'c said interupting Kim and Jacks conversation.  
  
"As I was saying Baal told Yu about the Cheeseburgers and he's...."  
  
To be continueed.


	9. the best of the best

Authors Note: Chapter Nine is finally posted. I had written it before camp but then accidentally errased it as I was about to post it!!! blasted computers. lol Anyways...sorry I made you wait so long but I've been tryin to catch up on sleep since camp..dont worry thats not all I've been doing......so with out further adu(i know its spelled wrong) here's chapter Nine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Oh and I must give Schuyler some of the credit for my cow idea........!!!!!lol lol lol lol  
  
"Well come out with it General." Jack asked.  
  
"He's...he's building an army of power crazed cheeseburgers that are going to take over the world. Kind of like a weapon of mass distruction." General Hammond said trying to keep a strate face. They all looked at him, doubtfull, yet with the most awkward of expressions on each face. Within a matter of seconds Hammond burst out into an almost uncontrollable laughter. They just watched him, exchanging glances with each other every now and again. Teal'c watched in ammusment with one of his eye brows raised.  
  
"Sir?" Sam asked.  
  
"I'.....I'm ..sorry I 't help it. You should have seen the expressions on your faces ...when..I told...told you." He said taking breaths to speak between his laughter. He died it down a little bit, and then stopped.  
  
"Har....Har...Har...."Kim replied to the General's unnussual behavior.  
  
"Anyways back to business. He is trying to create an army however. Cows." He ?" Jack asked confused beyond reason.  
  
"Yes. Cows. Power crazed cows willing to take over the known and unkown universe becauase they are upset with what we've done with there relitives." He explained the current situation further. They all looked confused now...very confused...even the naked mole rat.  
  
"Are you serious Sir?" Sam asked speaking for everyone.  
  
"I've never been more serious in my entire life people." He gave the answer to her question.  
  
"If you are serious General Hammond then how do you expect we defeat this army of power crazed cows?" Teal'c asked.  
  
"I agree with Teal'c. Cant we just like stick them on an extra large barbique or something?" Daniel asked speaking for the first time. Everyone looked at him wierdly.  
  
"What?" He asked.  
  
"No that is out of the question Doctor Jackson. When facing an army of power crazed cows there is only one thing we can do!" he said seriously...way to seriously.  
  
He looked at Kim and Ron as if they knew, or would know shortly what he was refurring too."Call in the proffesionals...best of the best." He added.  
  
Kim looked at Ron...while the rest of Sg-1 was confused.   
  
"Rugrats!" Ron said almost excited.  
  
Note: dont ask m where i am going with this im not even sure!!!!!!! just let me know if u like it!!!!!!!!thanks 


	10. Getting read to fight Cows

Nobody read Chapter Nine???? I'm going to cry!!!!! I like my story in all its wierdness and dumbness.......those to words are the very reason it exists.....lolololololol!!!!! Here's Chapter Ten if anyone is interested!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm BORED and HYPER very HYPER!!!!! WHooooHOOOOOOO GO MOUNTAIN DEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm having alot of fun writting this lol hahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!! OOOooooOOOoooo thank you Denyel for da ice cream idea!!!

All of Sg-1 looked at General Hammond confused!!!!!!! Who were these RUGRATS??? And, if, they were the best of the best, then why hadnt they ever heard of them before???????!!!!!!  
  
"Rugrats Sir?" Jack asked ever so confused(even more than he ussually is.)  
  
"Yes and if they're the best of the best why havnt we ever heard of them before???" Sam asked just as confused as Jack...which was unnussuall especially for her!  
  
"Rugrats. They're toddlers, and you've never heard of them because they've been kept a secret so the enemy wouldnt find out about them. They're very top secret and very very good at what they do!!!!"General Hammond replied.  
  
"Toddlers?" Teal'c asked confused. He had never heard of these TODDLERS..or RUGRATS.  
  
"Babies. Babies who crawl and cant even walk yet!" Daniel said informing Teal'c of what a toddler was. He was confused himself. Although quite aware that the situation they were about to embark in was very very real and very very serious!  
  
"Babbies..how will babies be affective against these cows General Hammond?" Teal'c asked.  
  
"They have their ways..and their own methods of fighting. Im unsure of how they do it I just know that they do. They're heroes on their planet. I think because they destroyed some evil dinasour called...um.....Reptar." General Hammond explained to his people.Kim walked back into the room after she had left to go get ahold of the rugrats.They all looked at her anxious to hear if they would have them on the team.  
  
"They'll do it!!!!" Kim said happily.  
  
"GREAT! Sg-1 how soon can you be ready?" He asked looking back at his team.  
  
"UH.......five minutes SIr." Jack informed.  
  
"GOOD! You have a go!"  
  
"Who was that Tommy?" Chucky asked as Tommy came turned around from having his back turned to them in their fenced in play pen area.  
  
"Yeah Tommy tell us!!! Who called?" Lil asked.  
  
Angelica was watching near by, and rolled her eyes, at the out come of the conversation.  
  
"You babies are so dumb! Its a plastic phone nobodies can talk to you. Its for pretend!" She retorted in her normal grumpy tone.  
  
"Be quiets Angelica!" Tommy said turning his head to look at her, then turning his attention back to his friends.  
  
Angelica walked away from the play pen mumbling something like stupid dumb babies dont know the differance from pretend and real life!!!!  
  
"Tommy!"  
  
"Babies... we've been called." He informefd them still holding the plastic phone in his hand. The other babies jumped up and down and clapped their hands with glee not realizing the extent of the battle they were about to get themselves into.  
  
To be continued if you want ...let me know if this is getting dumb...like i said hyper and bored...kind of bored and really hyper!!!!!!!! reviews please I LOVE YOU GUYS:)


End file.
